The husband and I got in a fight on Monday night, the eve of our first married Valentine’s Day. Great, right? I won’t go into the nitty gritty of what the fight was about, but suffice it to say that it was dumb and pointless.
I woke up on Tuesday, a day I work from home, to an empty apartment and a hand-written Valentine from husband apologizing for “being an ass.” I was still so mad about our fight that I was more annoyed than touched by the gesture at the time. Yeah, I realize that’s petty. Luckily, I was able to work at home alone while the husb was at work. All day, I tried to will myself to forgive myself and my husband for the fight, but I was really struggling. I buried myself in work. I ran on my treadmill. I took a shower, I ate comfort food. I added a super glue top coat to my nail polish to avoid biting them or trashing my polish job. (I’ve been desperately trying to stop biting my nails this year, with mixed success).
Sometime around midday, my husband emailed me a Valentine’s playlist, which just reminded me about the fact that I was still mad, so I pushed myself deeper into work. Sigh. Then, I missed a phone call from him and felt like a dick. So I called him back but he had to go to a meeting. I went back to more self-burying in work.
In the end, I realized I just needed time to get over this one. About an hour before the husband was to get home, I finally decided, “f*ck it. I’m going to listen to his stupid Valentine’s Day mix and take a bath. I’m not going to take a dump all over his trying to apologize on Valentine’s Day.” The mix was sweet, referential to all the sweet things we’ve been loving recently, and more. Yep, I rolled over and forgave the bastard. Not five minutes before he got home either! I rushed around getting dressed in the cutest Valentine’s dress ever and made him a Valentine. I apparently just had to get to the point where I could choose whether or not to let our pointless tiff become Val-pocalypse 2012. I really, really didn’t want our first married Valentine’s (and amazing tasting menu with wine pairings dinner!) to be ruined.
Using this printable Valentine from Please Note, I wrote Husband a sweet note and included a “get out of jail free” (i.e. “I’m letting you off the hook for this stupid fight”) coupon as his gift. The card was super appropriate for him and his record collecting obsession, and the message on the card was totally appropriate for our fight situation.
Here’s a shot of the card and coupon I gave him. When he opened his Valentine at our fancy dinner, he said that I’m the best and was really sweet about apologizing for the fight. Yay! I think we’re starting to get the hang of the whole marriage/life partner thing. 
I’m right there with you: fight on our first married Valentines. Although it was less of a fight and more of an emotional break down on my end that led to a few tense moments. All day I was torn between “just let the situation be and have it run its course, Valentines or not” AND “push it aside so we can enjoy Valentines together”. In the end it was a mix of both. He sent me flowers at work and I got him a handmade gift. We hugged and kissed and enjoyed each others company in the midst of the heaviness in the air. It’s hard when life is not what you want it to be, especially when there are strong expectations for how you think it SHOULD be!
Glad you and your husband were able to enjoy the day together
Thanks, Emily! We’re all lovey today because we’re so excited the tension didn’t last. Husband and I are such dorks, but that’s okay.